So
now here we are, looking for a new church home for the first time in four
decades. Ben and I each have lists of what we’re looking for; our lists aren’t
anywhere close to the same. This is my list:
·
Neither
tiny nor ‘mega’ in attendance. 100 – 200 people seems ideal
·
A
quiet, contemplative worship service
·
No
“performances” on stage, either by singers or speakers who call attention to
themselves. I don’t mind contemporary music (I prefer a blend of old and new),
but I do mind showiness. The people
on stage are not there to be the center of attention, and I don’t go to church
to be entertained. If all the song leader does is establish pitch and help the
congregation know when to come in, that’s dandy. As a musical person, I also really like to have notes to look at.
·
A
good mix of ages and generations, races and nationalities, genders, educational
and economic levels, able-bodied and disabled folk. In short—everyone should be welcomed and included
·
Compassionate
approach to social issues
·
Visible
in the community
I
did some research and found a list of denominations that lean liberal or
progressive, and that was where I hoped to start our search. We live in a rural,
conservative town, so we were well aware that we might have to travel a bit to
find churches of some of these denominations. That was actually fine; if we
were to attend a church in our own town, where we’re known, we’d be asked to do things, when for now, we wanted only
to sit together through an entire worship service with no responsibilities
weighing on our minds.
By the way, this is Ben’s list:
·
Preaching
from the Bible (this is a bit too vague for me; I’m pretty sure the Westboro
Baptist folks do this. While I certainly expect scripture to be part of the
service, I’d rather see Jesus’ teachings lived
than recited, and I’m wary of
proof-texting.)
·
Friendly
Incidentally,
I also have a few ridiculous requirements that—if not precisely deal-breakers, well,
they come pretty darn close.
· Please, no "turn around and greet your neighbor” time. This confirmed introvert despises
contrived greetings. I tend to mumble, unsure what to say, with my face frozen in an awkward
expression that would never be mistaken for a smile. It startles people.
·
Any
pastor who says “Good morning,” and then if dissatisfied with the response,
says “Oh, you can do better than that! Let’s try that again!” Baaaaaa.
There will have to be some
compromises along the way if we’re to find a church that meets the needs of
both this doubting, cynical, introverted woman and her open, friendly, faithful
husband.
Here we go.
I am with you on all of these things. My list would be the same. And the greeting you neighbor thing is honestly one reason I am happy to not be attending a church right at the moment - I HATE that moment of a service. I don’t think it actually fosters community and it makes me so uncomfortable. Plus, germs.
ReplyDeleteToday was my last official day as a United Methodist Pastor so we'll be traveling around and visiting churches all over for at least a year. I love all styles of worship as long as they're done well, i.e. in tune. I'd rather sing to recorded music than listen to a band/singers with bad intonation. My husband is strongly into contemporary Christian music so it's possible that I might slip out to a mid-week Episcopalian service to get the silence/high church liturgy that I also love. But what's really, really important to me is hands-on mission work here and abroad that serves all people. Deal breakers for me are women not included in leadership and narrow-minded social principles. Have you checked out Stevensville United Methodist Church?
ReplyDeleteI'll add that one to my list.
DeleteOh yeah, the greet your neighbor thing. You know the original intention was to have time to reconcile with your neighbor before having communion. I used to tell the congregation that if they took too long greeting each other, they must have had a lot of sins to reconcile. The idea is to pass the peace of Christ to the person in front of you, behind you, to each side of you; that way you have extended the peace of Christ to the four corners of the world. But people persist in using that time to make plans for lunch.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know that! You're right about the 'plans for lunch' bit, though--and that most churches just don't take us introverts into account.
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